hope that goblin didn't owe you money or something…
He owed me three gold pieces!
Ya won't be collectin' in this life… Maybe you'll have better luck in the next. *stab*
urrrrggh…
In the last quest, there was that orc who just couldn't manage to hit the elf no matter what he did… Mentor noticed the orc's shade was following him, trying to stab at him ineffectually. He determined this was embarrassing for the poor fellow and had him exorcised. We named him Bob. But just before we found Ragnar, we found a wandering monster who … appeared inside the wizard's hat, jumped out, and tried stabbing the elf again. Bob, is that you? No mater, dead again.
So there we were, we rescued this tr—trusted champion of the empire, yeah, but before we got there, there was this room with a table and even though we'd searched for traps, somehow we had missed one thanks to this card Zargon pulled out of his ass apparently when there were no monsters to be found. We were moving cautiously and carefully, searching everything as we went … but pit.
The barbarian was all for just jumping up on the table for us to get around it, but … nah. Amazingly, the wizard (with his rock skin) and prisoner were the only ones it seems like to never fall into the damned pit at least once. Then there was a mimic. Could've been that table, but nooo, it was the bookcase so that we had to jump that stupid pit trap again. Which of course at least half the heroes fell into, y'know, again!
We DID get the prisoner out of his cell and were in the process of leading him off to his tri—uh, triumphant return, yeah—when we realized there were orcs coming in about as fast as we could move to get out. The passage ahead was already full of them, and more were coming!
The elf had already popped healing water on the prisoner since he was apparently
sooooooo wounded and had two BP left … and then he had three. THREE? Some "hero". Almost as if he just asked the orcs to make it
look like they were torturing him, right? But he seemed to be in some kind of shock and … maybe that's why he was moving so slowly after being healed from his "grave" … scratch.
Fine, so we used a very expensive potion of restoration which gave him back a mind point. The Emperor sent us in to get this man out and … with orcs pouring in we needed a plan to do that. They were just going to keep coming until he was out, we figured so … what to do? Well, we got him as close as we could before it was starting to get ridiculous… And then we gave him some Vanishing Dust and a Potion of Speed. We had spells to accomplish the same, but the way things worked out timing wise, the wizard had already acted and Ragnar was moving at 2d6 and … the stairs were 80 feet away (even though there were a crap-ton of orcs between here and there…)
Yeah so we were going to actually pile the potion and a pair of spells on him to give him lots of movement but we took the gamble … 6, 5, 6, 1. That's 90 feet of movement there, and more than enough to get this rat ba—er, I mean faithful knight who would never betray the empire, to safety.
That just left a LOT of orcs. The wizard decided to cast Courage upon the crossbow-armed dwarf, who was heard to shout, "All right lads, it's a faight ya be wantin' let's fooking GOOO!" before he charged in throwing crossbow bolts for 5 dice each at every orc that was more than a few steps away from him. The barbarian ran forward trying to cut a path through, the elf even charged ahead in a rather surprising display of non-elifshness.
Oh! The elf! He charged into battle, so bravely! And … was cut down!
heh heh heh, that was for Bob!
Ughh, my only regret is that … you were not there to see me kill Bob again …
*sob*
Also I'm not dead, Potion of healing, ha!
Grrr…
Stabbity-stab!
The battle raged on, the path was littered with blood, sweat, and orc guts, but our heroes emerged victorious!
Where's the boss fight? There was supposed to be an epic boss fight!
You don't consider
THAT a boss fight?
Well, I mean…
There'll be a boss fight in the next quest. Or the one after that.
Wait, you can't possibly know that!
It's an epic heroic journey. There's going to be a boss fight, that's how these things work.
ghost
I still want to stab elf…
<InSpectreRetro> All hail Zargon!!! Morcar only has 1BP.