Ye Olde Inn

by **el_flesh** » Sunday January 29th, 2012 9:27pm

Finally a game - we haven't played since last post. A few months? It is mid Dec 2011:
After an amazing Turkey XXXmas dinner provided by Beernut & Gill(ty), we settle down to a game.
We are shown a map - and we must decide which attraction does. (Attract us!)

Irregardless (which isn't actually a word) there is only one way to go - up the path. We draw it onto the board, and Korisu regales us for a few minutes giving our heros Irish accents and talking about how the path in front of us is actually flat and not 3D as we've attempted to represent.
Ninja runs 20 steps up (HA!) the 'incline'. his vision of 10 shows us three large monsters ahead - one of them in yellow pants and with a bronze club. (Like Korisu needs any more encouragement.)

I glide as far ahead as possile while raising Rusty the Unfriendly Ghost, who floats onward towards the group. Zebs goes farther than I, but still can't (or doesn't) reach them. He actually has pretty good vision range in daylight. Even with his bonnet. Korisu runs and hides behind a tiny rock - which cannot hide him. The creatures notice him and start to pick up rocks.

Ninja attax them!5 hits cuts yellow pants on the leg. Next hit is on the side of his neck. 6 hits goes into his neck and topples him down the cliff! Ninja still has action, and 7 hits stabs the next creature in its eye killing it immediately! He turns to the last one, and cuts off a gnad. His next hit takes them off entirely. Now it attax, and 6 dmg crushes Ninja in the nuts!

He has to roll a body check - but is OK.

Korisu kills the tree wielder! Now Ninja runs up to the impaled body on the spike. It has been there awhile; there are no eyes left. Korisu searches the rather dry and gross body.

He just misses disaster of snake eyes. Going around the corner, he sees map #2 - which we attempt to draw.

He looks into door #1

and door #2

We end the game here as we don't really have much more time...

He uses his ability to footwork and maneuver thru them to behind! Beernut rolls a check = they start talking to each other again! Ninja can see a corridor leading downwards. He makes a back attack; 6 skulls make a good stab, widening the eyes of the creature as it is talking to its friend. 7 skulls on the next roll = dagger goes thru its neck from behind, slicing sideways, severing several arteries. Blood founts out of its mouth onto its friend. (All Thanx go to Beernut for these graphical death descriptions.) As the other Orc starts to turn, Ninja attax – but the back attack will not work; another check shows that the Orc has seen him! Some fingers are sliced off as it tries to block. Attack #2 is blocked by its Orcine greaves. #3 trix the Orc; it blox low then both daggers come up thru its neck – they are out & cleaned before it hits the ground.
There is a check roll to see if anyTHING noticed the quietish assassination noises. Ninja walx down the hall. He sees a door on the wall beside a hole. In the hole is the pointed tip of a BALLISTA! UH OH!

He quickly moves out of the firing line, ducking back behind the wall edge. Rusty the ghost sinx down thru the rock, arriving on the same level as our heros. Ninja & Zebs allow him to go and check in the Ballista room. He finds an Orc manning (orccing?) the Ballista, asleep. Ninja quietly sneax (cost more AP) down the hallway, crossing the hole, ending his turn in front of the door. Zebs lies on the ground, trying to crawl sneakily down the hallway. Beernut asks him what kind of armor he is wearing. It’s plate armor. “Imagine using a rope to drag an anvil down the hallway. It makes the same kind of sound.

The Orc gets up and pulls on a rope, a loud CLANG CLANG obviously alerting the whole dungeon to our prescence. Rusty swipes the Orc, taking one spirit point. I have no choice but to raise a wizard – a failed Lich who is summoned to this plane only for a time. His magic is limited – he can only summon two bone knights himself and no more, which he immediately does. I don’t have the spirit to raise any more minions until something else is killed. Orcs appear in front of the bone knights. The turn ends.

Ninja can’t get thru the door – he rolls to examine it. There is no handle; it opens from the other side.
He doesn’t dare to step in front of the Ballista. The projectile is large. Bone Knight #2 attax, cutting the hand of the Ogre, using his spell of hi static discharge. It causes only one more dmg, but the strength of it is its hi stunning effect. The Ogre slumps against the wall, effectively losing a turn. The wizard has only two strong spells, and uses one of them now, casting a hi heat ball in the center of the horde. None of them die – but they all suffer 3rd degree burns. (6 dmg each). The Orcs get up and then throw their spears – only one reaches the 1st Bone Knight, who bats it away with his 4/5 shield roll. Ninja is being the chicken *lemony goodness* and stays behind the door! Beernut makes the Orc orccing the Ballista panic, trying to hit the ghost that keeps swiping spirit points off him, and shoots – the bolt flies up the length of the corridor and blasts apart at the end wall having hit nothing. The Orcs lob their spears again – Bone Knight #1, who is stuck, unable to attack diagonally, loses 1/3 of his unlife. The Orc in back shoots his spear too, but hits his friend in front of him due to the burn effects (critical fail w/double six) killing him. Bone Knight #1 is hit again – now only one BP remains to hold him to This Vortal Coil. The Bone Wizard casts a hi lightning bolt on the Ogre. Beernut: “Picture your bone knights dry, expressionless skulls. In a sudden, disgusting bursting explosion, they get spattered in blood, bits of guts, gore and chunx.”
They’re going to smell even worse by tomorrow.
Enough spirit to raise LORD BONER! 6 skulls on the lead Orc make it basically explode, too, although not nearly quite as violently or spectacularly. Rusty steals his third spirit point. Zebs runs thru and bravely kills the one remaining Orc that is already teetering on its feet. Then he goes to peek into door #2. The Orcs he discovers there follow him as he flees back behind my summons. They attack Lord Boner, who loses a body point. Rusty takes his fourth spirit point – the Orc is very sluggish now, and extremely pale. Bone Knight #1 can finally do something; with a hi static discharge, his sword goes into the Orcs mouth and blows off the top of its head. Red skeleton is raised; he harms the Orc but fails to kill it. The Orc is unharmed by Red’s burn aura, but the aura kills Bone Knight #1, who was too close!

Red goes 1st next turn; some footwork and a perfect attack roll = extra crispy Orc! Ninja shouts to Zebs again – “FOR THE LOVE OF SCIENCE, COME AND SMASH DOWN THIS DOOR!!!”
It will take him some time – Ninja is spending action to give advice on where the door is weakest. It takes away some of Zebs door-smashing action as he is distracted in swinging at the door: “WATTT?? yup.”
The soldier orccing the Ballista is now dead – converted into a flunky ghost. They both attack the remaining Orc, although the flunky is not nearly as powerful as Rusty; he only gets one attack die and half the action points. Up the second corridor, Boner hacks at the other door, but MORE Orcs are coming now – from the third cave entrance!

A thrown spear kills Red, making him detonate just as the first attacker comes into range! He suffers damage from Red’s violent dissolution. El Flesh is Ballista’d as he retreats down the hall. The Orcs are pursuing; Bone Knight #2 is destroyed now; tumbing to the ground in a heap of dry, clacking, disarticulated bones. Boner comes into range and kills the sword wielding Orc. Red is raised again, and finishes off the Orc in the cave entrance. But Lord Boner takes damage from Red’s intense heat aura. Meanwhile, Zebs succeeds in smashing the door open. They find that it was ‘locked’ in back by a wood beam crossing the door. Red burns the first Orc literally into ashes. Bone Wizard casts hi heat shield on Lord Boner, who then runs into the middle of the Orc group, causing heat damage to them, too.

Rusty takes a spirit off the new Orc and then goes into the same space as he is, permeating its vile body, causing panic. Ninja runs thru the busted door, and with frustrated bloodlust, slaughters the Orc.

He then runs to the second room, and finds the Orcs orccing that Ballista. Red takes more than half his body in dmg. Lord Boner defends magnificently against three separate attax – the 3rd one allowing a full counter, which causes dmg on his flat-footed attacker.
Ninja sneax up behind the Ballista Orc, stabbing it thru the kidneys, killing it immediately. The next Orc, turning, is stabbed thru the armpit, making it bleed freely, but it is not dead yet. But as it turns to attack, Ninja’s dagger goes into the hollow of its throat.
Ninja decides that NOW he will search for treasure. There is only 52 Cu. Boner and Red make attax. GREEN (an acid-based) skeleton is raised now, damaging an Orc, and his special burns it with 1 acid dmg/turn for 4 turns!
There is no pShaww without Korisu. We also notice that we have gotten thru WAY more turns without pShaww and Korisu, too…
Red is attacked violently, and he loses cohesion for a second time. Boner loses 25% of his life. Green is attacked and he loses half! The next attack detonates him, and he releases splashed acid and STANK! The acid alone finishes off three Orcs; Red can be raised again out of all the death. Ninja sneax into the last Ballista room, our “Matrix” soundtrack reaching action crescendo.

Ninja backstabs that Orc, killing it instantly, too! As the 2nd one turns, his dagger catches it in the eye – but misses going thru the brain, so the eye is merely scooped out. Ninja repositions the blade and hits the hilt; driving it thru the brains after all. His search finds a minor potion of strength-at-arms.Zebs peeks thru the double door.

…He sees a huge meal at a table. But the door creaaaxxxxx as he peers thru. The closest creature looks at him “uuhhh???”

Zebs: “GUYS? I THINK WE’RE IN TROUBLE.” then he runs away, as his voice alerts the entire group.

As boner kills the last Orc at the entrance, Rusty goes into the dining room to distract thr group – but it fails; they are all swarming towards the door and ignoring him, intent on killing the green gigantic interloper. Their rush has alerted another group – the doors on the side open as well.

Tallings step thru it.

We all agree that we are so glad we decided to play after all.
Having been enjoying Oblivion for weeks and also Fallout 3, I must still admit it is not as fun as getting together for a game night like this.

HQ (or whatever its evolved into for us) almost died this past month. Now, it's got new life!

by **el_flesh** » Sunday April 1st, 2012 7:55pm

(This was, like, early February?...)

At the last instant….just before we get utterly SLAUGHTERED…with Zebs of Dooom running in utter terror…Korisu & Georgeous join us, after having slept off their drunks. Beernut says that Korisu overreacts – because his roll of initiative lets him go BEFORE Ninja! He runs up to us all, but then hangs back from attacking! (Ninja says it is due to lag). Georgeous runs up to us, too. Ninja asks if the monsters can see him – but a cheq roll shows they cannot. So he attax, and 8 skulls cuts its guts open – they spill out; but the enemy is not dead yet. His 2nd attack of 8 skulls rips its chest open; and it falls dead. The monsters notice the death but somehow – NOT Ninja. He catches the next Orc only on the neck, but then 8 skulls cuts its head off. A massive blue caver Talling spots him, so do the 3 ogres, but Ninja only wounds the hunter orc. His 2nd attack cuts it deeply, but does not kill. Zebs turns around and comes back. Ninja says “What are the odds?” Zebs approaches the Emo Talling and attax – 7 skulls cutting it.

Flesh goes up to the door with Lord Boner accompanying him closely. The Bone Wizard fails to open the lock. Having no real attax left, he runs to the middle of the Ogres and detonates, causing 2 dmg each. Flesh can raise him again due to the gathered spirit points. The Wizard raises two bone knights; one of which uses hi static discharge to finish the Emo talling that Zebs had damaged. Red skeleton is killed in an ogre attack.

Ninja is attacked twice, but dodges both.

The caver talling kills bone knight #2. #1 defends against the caver, however. Ninja attax the orc in front; 6 skulls chops its throat and it dies. Ninja takes on a talling – but one skull landing on top of another does not =4 as he tries to get away with. 7 skulls kills the ogre. Then he tries to sneak up on another ogre, but it can see him – so he attax the ogre that is attacking Rusty the ghost, stabbing it in the back. 7 skulls = dead ogre!
He next attax the ogre facing him, but gets 0 skulls. It counters his missed attack, but Ninja’s speed & skill allow him to counter in turn – which is dodged. His next roll of 2 skulls allows a retcon of the action: it was Ninja’s plan all along, allowing him to slice the triceps of the orc as it was maneuvered in two attax to overshoot him. The next attack finally kills it.

Zebs opens the door for Flesh, and then very bravely takes on the very last ogre. Korisu makes it to the last ogre; but he rolls snake eyes on the lightning sword’s backslash. Double lightning backfires on Korisu from his own attack! The ogre decides (thru a roll) to attack Zebs, who is at FULL body points. It causes 1 dmg, but its 2nd attack is defended. But now Georgeous comes in and splits the orc’s head open. Gross, stinking green brain material spills onto the floor.

Flesh’s minions travel far, revealing cave #4.

Red is raised again, who runs into the middle of the group, singeing caver #2. Red is quickly killed – but his detonation makes fire splash dmg.

Past the table, many headless bodies hang in the kitchen. Ninja searches the table, but among the scraps, there is only a mnor potion of majicka.

Georgeous runs far to the minor ghost, and finds creatures that have run out of the room at him. Zebs now runs to help Georgeous, who is being attacked by the Orcs. He takes no dmg, and knox the 1st one on its ass; it is bleeding profusely. Korisu runs to help Georgeous too, and cuts the Orc in two. Bone Knight #2 casts a hi heat ball on the three remaining Orcs and they all die.

The game is over for tonite…

by **el_flesh** » Sunday April 1st, 2012 8:02pm

a month later...

Beernut notes how there were three turns played in the last game. And the game before, it was 15.
There is indeed some chaos happening with more players…please comment as to your experiences…
Also, during setup, Ninja realizes how many artefacts he really has equipped – and forgotten about! Wine will do that to you.
What can be said about the sudden disappearance of Korisu Yamato & Georgeous of the Gorge?
They failed to logon. Maybe they are instead slipping their respective logsin.

Ninja runs into the kitchen to search it. He finds le grand chef, who sees him and warns his two sous-chefs; they are all wielding kitchen implements. He stabs the chef thru the thigh, who collapses, and then is stabbed in the eye.

Next, Zebs BRAVELY moves in to attack! He cuts thru the arm and then removes the head of an Orc! Turning to the other one, he kills it too, in front of the flunky ghost.

Flesh pushes ahead since the level 3 ghost, Rusty, has revealed a room with 2 tallings asleep on Orgy Size beds! (I had to come with something a lot larger than King size – they are giants, after all. This is my great and hopefully famous contribution to the English language. The Orgy Size Bed concept.)
Lord Boner misses, and only stabs the shoulder of the Emo Talling who is asleep in the first bed. The backswing does nothing. The emo gets up, and Boner defends vs its two attax, but the third knox him down for 12 actions!

Ninja, meanwhile, is attacked by a meat-cutting sous-chef orc. His full counter of 5 shields lets him kill it.
Le Grand Chef is stabbed in the back of the head; he slithers to the floor. A fantastic roll = as the grand chef falls, Ninja grabs the other orc around neck with his feet, twisting and breaking its neck!
His search finds a sammich made from the cheez of a ♀ orc. Also, the chef has 100 Ag.
Zebs tries to peek thru the door, but it creeeeaaaakks open like the last one, revealing many enemies. So he turns and runs.

Boner gets up, with two actions left. Rusty steals one spirit from the other Talling. The Bone Wizard, a failed Lich, and his Bone Knight climb up out of the pit, and go into the talling room. Flesh uses his shadow jaunt skill to transport thru the wall, and hides in shadow (thanx to Ninja’s aid in his Lich spell) then releases a stab flurry with his Phylactic Slayer. Three slashes makes the Talling Triceps become Tri-deceps.

Zebs is attacked – but he has battlesense, giving him 2 action-free defenses and counters! He defends vs all three attackers, and does some dmg in countering! Lord Boner is smashed to the ground again, but having 14 action, the 12 won’t take all of them! He gets up with 2 action left, however, he is smashed to the ground again, and will run a defecit of -10 actions next turn! So, aside from defending reasonably well (λ left), he misses this one entirely.

Flesh dodges an initial attack, but a backslash catches him with 3 dmg. This is 1/3, as he has 6 body points left.

The Orc Slayer detects Ninja’s sprinting approach, Beernut rolls snake eyes, which is a critical success for a first attack! But two clumsy attax miss, and Ninja kills him.

Rusty causes -1 more spirit. The Bone Kinght rolls 5 skulls! The Wizard has nothing left except physical with his staff. He makes a perfect roll of 3/3 skulls, which = bonk on the knee. Flesh stabs twice and kills the talling. Then, with great trepidation, he raises….pShaww…who can attract attention. And the Emo is certainly attracted to him/her/it. pShaww defends vs a low attack (or maybe a grab), then he limp-wristedly bitch slaps the Emo with one die…and misses.
Zebs kills an Orc Slayer. Ninja starts again: he misses many attax, but manages to kill his target finally. He kills one more very easily. With the last roll, he attax invisibly, eviscerating his enemy, who collapses amongst his own tripe. He levels up, and using bonus action, can attack the last creature: 6 skulls =blade goes thru its lung and stix out its back, 4 skulls twists the blade and ends it all for the creature.

pShaww takes 7 dmg, but he has 18 left as he can really take a pounding. He loses 12 action being knocked to the ground – coincidentally spread-eagled facedown, with 15 BP left.
The Bone Knight stabs the Emo thru the kidneys, and its yellow pants turn brown as internals let go. The wizard belts it on the back of the knee with 2/3 skulls, knocking it down to one leg. Flesh grabs the talling by the hair, stabbing it thru the neck and killing it. Rusty scouts sideways, and finds a room full of items. And a few creatures.

Ninja goes into the other room to search, finding a potion of rejeuvenation; healing 3 body points/turn for 5 turns.
Flesh goes into the new room…

…demanding the identity of the human, who instead attax him immediately. He spirit chex two of the attax, but the last roll of snake eyes is the only critical fail that allow spirit tendrils to immobilize him 4 turns. He cannot move, attack or defend. But he can release and re-summon the Bone Wizard – who in turn summons 2 new Bone knights! The first one attax the human – but the hi lightning and physical is disbersed by a shimmering! The second bone knight attax the ranger instead – causing dmg and 16 inaction.

We end here, with Flesh trapped, physically weakened, and having very low spirit points left.

by **el_flesh** » Sunday April 1st, 2012 9:18pm

Korisu crawls out from under the massive table. Ninja is first (big surprise), hiding in plain sight. The armor check of the nearest creature is -3 due to his attack in its rear. He stabs it in the base of the skull, it comes out the creature’s eye, and it is dead! The 5 spirit helps me heal 2 BP. ninja attax the other creature; cutting its belly open, as it drops he slices its head off for good measure. But now Ninja is seized by tentacles coming out of the ground; now he is immobilized for four turns!

Rasha, the ♀ shaman is next. Flesh & Ninja must roll body chex: 6 dmg bolts of energy – but Flesh is able to reduce the dmg to him. Then she slashes at the ghost, Rusty, taking half his ectoplasm. Korisu runs like hell towards us – but does not reach us entirely. Rusty slashes at Rasha – but 4/5 skulls have no effect! Wizard casts hi lightning on Rasha – 5 dmg crackles lightning everywhere around the room – but has no other effect! The Bone Knight tries an attack of hi static – it has a hard time penetrating the shield, but it does do some slight burn dmg and 16 stun! So there is definitely a minimum skull die roll to get to Rasha – and it is higher than at least 5! The 2nd bone knight tries the same hi static discharge – but fails! Ninja is still held tightly – he is uncomfortable and cannot escape, and neither can I. Zebs leaps over everyone, crashing into Rasha, and knocking her into the desk behind her, which collapses into splinters.

The magic tendrils start to warp around Zebs, but a roar and flex from him rips them open! Beernut : “You raise your sword and your other permanently attached “sword” in triumph – they have both broken the tendrils!” (We love playing this game after a few beers!)
His attack of 7 skulls meets a lot of resistance, but she is cut! None of my flunkies, however, manage to dmg her.
Korisu cannot get in to attack, so he opens the hallway door and sees a giant, in armor, holding a large sword.

Korisu sez: “FEE FI FO FUM, I’LL PUT THIS BIG CLUB IN YOUR BUM!….….now Flesh is writing – ‘LOLZ…LOLZ’ ” yup. There was lots o lolz at that.
Korisu’s attack cuts the giant slightly. It steps back, grabs the torture rack, and heaves it one-handed thru the door at Korisu!

It charges towards him, breaking thru the doorframe evn though it was made massive for the Tallings. Zebs manages to penetrate the defensive barrier around Rasha, but his attack is stopped by her robes. His 2nd attack fails. Korisu pushes off the rack, which falls on pShaww.
Now Korisu flees! The Talling Chief smashes the rack into splinters, dealing such dmg to pShaww, that he has less than half his life left! pShaww uses ‘his’ special skill to attract the Talling’s attention (but not, to pShaww’s chagrin, the Talling’s desire).

Rasha manages to get up and shake off the stun effects. Bolts hit us again – Ninja collapses! We must save him in 11-3 (extra dmg) turns or else it is permanent death! Alot of attax on the ♀ shaman do very little dmg.
pShaww gets a lot of physical and stun dmg – he lies still and takes it, only silently for a change. (Maybe he IS biting a pillow!) Beernut supplies Korisu with the perfect material about how to save Ninja with his own life potion: “So, I walk right up to him, open his mouth wide and put it in?”
After about a 5 minute delay of ensuing lolz and chaos, Ninja has recovered, and another tentacle finally raises up out of the ground to ensare Zebs – but he breax it again. Korisu is held now – and so is Lord Boner.

(Sadly, I have no more pix from this point on. So you must do what has never ever been done in RPGs before: use your imagination to picture the action as it unfolds.)

The magic bolts of Rasha reduce both bone knights to 3 body each. Now that Ninja can finally attack, he goes for the ♀ ! 6 skulls, then 7, then 4 then 6 are ALL defended, and some of them have reduced block penalties to Rasha! All in all, she has only lost some actions! Zebs ZERX out – misses his first attack, but the second, 9 skulls, causes a gash on her shoulder. She drinx a potion – the gash and cuts disappear! Flesh and his troupe fail to dmg her. pShaww and the flunky ghost are killed utterly. pShaww’s special death skill is to suck in one spirit point from the killer – if it kills him; pShaww will reraise from its body – but no such luck this time. Ninja attax the ♀ again – several attax do nothing much more than reduce her action, but his last attack of 8 skulls and -3 def manages to cut off her left boob. Zebs gets 8 skulls and cuts off the other one – but she drinx a potion again and both of them grow back firmer and pointier than before! Her bolts fell Korisu with 9 dmg – and he has very few turns to survive! The tentacles are broken. (Does this mean she drank the potion at the point of collapsing?)
In the hallway, the Talling swings at the wizard, who has no assault attax left – he is down with 3 life left and 12 stun.
In the room, the bone knight attax Rasha yet again – and the shimmer collapses! Flesh runs behind the talling, and unsees, stabs him with his phylactic slayer, repeatedly. It does cause some dmg, but Flesh, low on spirit and health, backs off with more moves rather than risk staying in range of the Talling just for a few more attax. Ninja rolls 9 skulls -3 def…= both blades cross at her neck, severing her head a la Darth Tyrannus; it goes flying. Her body, which is lootable, falls. He immediately turns his attention to the Talling, which winds up missing a chunk after his attax. His last attack on it cuts the main artery in its neck – it drops to the floor with a thunderous crash.
Zebs pix up the greatsword – it is 3 autoskulls +7 Attack die! There is a ring of defense +3. There is also a ring of cubing, and a staff that adds 2 attack and +4 defense!
But I think my slayer and wand of raising is better. Also – this staff does not have magic damage on it. But I think I no longer have that staff from adventure #1 so long ago.

We spend the next 30 minutes swapping gear and selling what we don’t need back at the caravan.
The result is more power for each of us! I happen to have loads of coin as well – there will be a lot of training when I eventually level up! In the meantime, we are going to have to review our items to be sure that we know what we have when going in to an adventure!

by **el_flesh** » Monday April 9th, 2012 12:23pm

Zebs and Beernut refurbished dice using sharpies. (Not Sharpeis).

“Follow the Yellow Dick Road” is what we singh.
It calls to mind my first Italian Lesson: “La mia matita e lungo, durrro….e giallo.”

Ninja runs 18 spaces, raising a cloud of dust on the Yellow Dick Road…but he finds many mutilated body parts and corpses on the wayside! This is the villiage at the base of the green field on the pixel map of Beernut.

Although Flesh can only see 9 squares in daylight, something nearby draws his attention. I investigate the giant skeleton – however a % roll of 35 makes it nothing more than a long-moldering useless feature of the terrain. (What I might have been able to raise with a roll of 99%?!?)

The doors of the castle walls are broken open. As we pass into the town center we find it deserted. The horse is dead, still attached to the cart.

Unfortunately, the stalls have been ransacked of anything of value. Ninja looks at the statue in detail. The figure has a pitchfork and a shovel in his front hand. His name is on the bottom: SPOB GONEB.

Beernut then informs us this is the town of FRING SPIELD.

*sigh*

The town is pretty much intact, but there are footprints with blood all over. Zebs goes ahead and chex the doors – he pushes on them and they bounce back a little.

Flesh chex the fountain, and 2 good rolls net 140 Cu. Ninja chex the statue again – but finds nothing else. Zebs shoves the doors and they bounce back at him further! He turns and runs. Ninja goes to them and pulls. They open towards us. The room beyond is full of zombies.

As Flesh steps into the room, doors behind him slide upward – revealing more zombies, including two Renders –which have furiously fast claw attax; 4 per turn normally.
Using all of his stored spirit, Flesh raises all 6 of his children. The doors that were opened outward slam shut behind Zebs. Four renders step out from behind the shoadowed rubble.
It will be a vicious fight.

Flesh’s children kill 3 zombies and dmg 2 of the renders. Then it is Ninja’s turn to attack the render near him; but rolls a crit fail (snake eyes) on trying to hide in plain sight = FACEPLANT! It allows the render to get in his attack first instead. But the render fails to hit, and Ninja gets to counter with 5 die.

He makes crax about when starting out, he had to follow Georgeous everywhere for protection – but now has all kinds of artifact mods. He winds up removing the render’s head, purely on counters. The other one is shortly killed, too. We are all surprised at how easily the renders seem to be falling. Now his loads of action allows him to wipe out 7 zombies in total, using the largest straight of 7 skull rolls we’ve ever seen. When Zebs finally gets a turn, 6 skulls removes the head of his zombie; but he has no more desire for action. Beernut makes 4 attax on bone knight 1, who dies without attacking much. pShaww rolls 4/5 shields and then the render “feels pShaww’s prick” as Beernut puts it, on a 2/3 skul roll. Bone knight 2 is attacked – but counters remoe the arm of the zombie attacker. It is the same for Lord Boner. Several attax on Flesh utterly FAIL.

The bone wizard casts hi lightning on a render, and blows it up into flying chunx. Bone Knight 2 casts a high heatball, and with the dmg from before he kills himself, along with 2 of Flesh’s children; but it clears the room of zombies and renders entirely. Boner kills his zombie, and Flesh cleans up the rest. We end here. There was a lot of catching up initially before the game got started. But we had fun!

by **el_flesh** » Monday September 3rd, 2012 12:22pm

It’s been 3 months since our last game! Summer will do that to ya! Summertime – time of BBQs

And Beernut’s GRILLED Italian sausage and veg’ble sandwiches (on onion buns!)
Ninja also missed Sortilege Maple Whiskey so much we went and picked some up right before supper! Thank SCIENCE for the Liquor dispensary, which stays open until 11 at night!

We start at the stairway that was revealed after the defeat of the Lightning Lord that had come to life last game (yaaa… might have missed a report – last MAY). Ninja goes down the stairs - and finds chests among lots of furniture. There is a skeleton lying on the bed (without a scythe, but we had no bare skel).

He searches for traps everywhere. And finds them. There are 4 pressure plates that will need his thieving skill to disarm. There are no secret doors. There is nowhere else to go for us but forward – the hallway had collapsed behind us last game. Now ninja can look for treasure in the desk and rolls 130% thanx to his search bonuses (someone like me would roll whatever the percentiles give!)

He finds what ultimately turns out to be an artifact (yet again) – a sheathed Dagger of Fire, that Beernut rolls to determine has 1/encounter +3 fire dmg/hit 2turn duration – an AMAZING mod that can potentially add loads of dmg. It can also heal 6 body points once per game. This would be a GOLD named item in the only Diablo games that count – 1 & 2.
It would require moving the table to open the cabinet. So he searches for traps again and finds one on the table. He juuuust fails to disarm it (so it doesn’t go off) and takes a second go to actually disarm it.
He then searches for a trap on the cabinet – and finds one! He searches for one on the book case next to it, but finds none. He autofails with snakeeyes on trying to disarm the cabinet – a pit opens, he falls in (5 dmg), and a cheq makes the table only teeter on the edge – so Zebs rolls and manages to grab it in time!

Too bad it didn’t fall down on top of him; that would have been hilarious. Zebs manages to pull the table back out. Then he decides to *lemony goodness* on the chair and take a rest. Examining the body, my mind roll tells me that this was the result of dabbling in energies that consumed him. Ninja crawls out of the pit and discovers a trap on the gold chest. He disarms it and finds 60 Au, a beautifully carved medallion encrusted with 13 gems +2 spirit +2 mindvalue of 3000 Ag. Ninja gets Zebs to move off the chair and notices a smell…as Beernut says, “Half Ogres, like full ones, are not known for their personal toilet hygiene, nor for even squatting.” Auuuggghhh! I’m glad we already ate. We all take a big gulp of Sortilege.

Ninja finds a Duelist Dagger of Combat +2 defense +2 attack +2 free counters. Ninja rolls a 3 trying to disarm the cabinet that already opened a pit under him. So close to a fail – maybe the cabinet would have fallen on him or something! He finds only 60 Cu. I try to determine the energy that killed the summoner – a perfect roll of 12 (autosuccess) shows that in summoning the lightning lord on the floor above us, (last game), this guy didn’t take the proper precautions and protective spells – he was utterly consumed by the energies and they burned him out. Dolt. Rusty the unfriendly ghost goes forward to find stairs going down. Ninja determines that the Silver chest has no traps on it. 115% roll finds: 11 Lightning & Thunder Shiruken +1 lightning, 8 stun (body cheq vs 25), HIT = Thunderclap 2 square radius 8 MORE stun to everyone else! He ALSO finds Silk Sandles of Bedroom Hopping: +3 cheq/hiding; and finds 130 Ag & 30 Au. As if that wasn’t enough, there’s also Leather Gloves of Knuckle Sandwich: +2 action +2 reaction, +1 def, 1 free counter, +1 vision and punching attax get +1 fire dmg. On the fireplace mantle there’s a Cu Finely Crafted Medallion worth 25 Ag; with only 2 open spaces left, he doesn’t even pick it up. Zebs then goes and gets the medallion, then decides to take old burnt wood from the dead fireplace and throw the pieces against the wall just to see them fall apart. “HAHAHA. FUNNY.”

The book that Ninja found on the gold chest is passed to me, and reading it reveals the spells throw / grasping growth / reanimate. The growth spell tree is pretty much incompatible with Lich nature, and Flesh’s children are far more powerful than reanimate. Flesh decides to learn the throw spell.
Rusty the unfriendly ghost, the unfriendliest ghost you know, finds a way out and follows a path among the trees.

Ninja realizes he needs a natural 12 to pick the lock on the old rusted door. Deciding to let Zebs have a go at it, he attempts to disarm the second trap in front of the door, and gets the natural 12 he needed to open the lock! Thinking this means the horseshoe is now up his arse, he breax one lockpick and then gets the 12 needed to make the rusted tumbler fall just the right way to open the door.
We all proceed out into the light, my minions complaining and myself, squinting in the bright light – my dark vision of 32 spaces reduced to 5 here in the sun.
Ninja walx towards the columns ahead the clearing,

but his thieving sense tells him when others are trying to sneak around him, too – he catches a smell, hears twigs crack. They are trying their damndest to hide, but his thief skill is too great for them; it tells him all he needs to know – there is a Pork Tree planned for us. ( A Pork Tree? No – wait – a Ham Bush! That’s right.)

Ninja runs into the thick woods and attax the Orcs directly! His new fire dagger torches one of them with a few attax – they are level 13 Orcs! (I can summon level 9 at best!) He manages to hide in plain sight and kills a 2nd target. Zebs, hearing the commotion, rushes in and chops the arm off of an Orc with one swing, it starts screaming ‘bloody murder’, and manages to defend the backswing, but with one arm it falters and Zebs makes quick work of it.

Now the Orcs attack: Lord Boner defends vs 2 attax, then the Orc behind Ninja throws 2 spears simultaneously at Zebs (chosen by roll), but he defends them both! Ninja kills several Orcs, the last one making such a good roll that his attack “…cuts its lower jaw off and its tongue catches on fire.” His next hit kills it. The next Orc he encounters is stabbed in the back; entirely killing it before it even moved. The Orcs go next, their action beating me and Zebs – by .4 . 2 of them dodge away from Red, the tree they are near burning from his heat.

Lousy defense rolls from Red make him detonate from the spears thrown at him. Zebs is attacked by 3 Orcs, but takes no dmg. It does cost him action for the next turn. Boner defends vs 2 attax, and counter on the last one makes 3 dmg on the attacker. Zebs turn and he uses his Reaper skill to do a massive swing that hits 3 targets. He cuts the hand off the 1st target, misses the 2nd and scratches the 3rd. His next attack kills one of them.

Flesh’s undead posse does dmg but kills nothing. Ninja shoves his dagger thru the back of the skull of an Orc, scrambling its brains. The last Orc sees this happen, and so has full defense, but Ninja kills it anyway. He sprints over to the Orcs facing Zebs, and takes several attax to force a fatal mistake that opens the Orc to a stab thru the eye. Goo splurts out of it.

Boner chops thru an Orc body, killing it too. Flesh runs up and kills the last Orc using his Phylactic Slayer so well, that it gives a bonus spirit point on ‘Coup de Grace’.
We will investigate the area next game. Ninja has gone up a level too.

by **ken** » Monday September 3rd, 2012 1:57pm

A Pork tree :?:

A Ham Bush :?:

Sounds like our new Gin Trap :!:

gin traps.doc

by **el_flesh** » Tuesday August 27th, 2013 12:04am

( no pics until I get them e-mailed to me...sorry!)

Many moons have passed, along with many winds. Yes, indeed, there has been a great amount of passing wind. Only two of our heros are found…basking in the scent of Fort Greysburgh’s sewer system. Are they wounded? Or just relaxing on vacation? Only the DM, Beernut, knows for sure. 1
As we were hambushed on the way to fort Greysburgh, Ninja Singh had wanted to sell things. So we used his Ring of Return to go to the caravan…but instead Zebs of Doooom and I, El Flesh, found ourselves in this position. “It’s very relaxing down here….peaceful.” I remarked to Zebs, as we recovered consciousness. I slide into the water, and being mostly dried bone sealed with magics, float easily back and forth, enjoying the chance to ease my headache. Monkey see, monkey do, only Zebs discovers that while the water smells good to him, and contains choice delicacies to munch on, it IS 7’ deep and he sinks to the bottom before he stands up. The floating *lemony goodness* is now caught between his armor and skin which is chafing, and Flesh’d Fine Gloves are now Shit-Covered Fine Gloves. “Ahhh. Dat Refreshing.” Zebs says. “Not Bad, all things considered,” says Flesh “I know some people who I will thoroughly enjoy cleaning my gloves off on their face as I punch them.” 2
We explore the sewer area more. The body near the inlet is too far gone for me to use at all. But Zebs finds a Defiler, a short way around the corner. Flesh immediately raises a Wiz Skel, who strikes it with hi lightning, which blows off a corner of it. Zebs stays out of the tentacle range, throwing rox, which hardly do anything. Many more enemies appear! 3
Wiz raises 2 Bone Knights. They go right up to the Defiler, but the heat from the first Bone Knight’s fireball is so intense that it kills both of them. Red skeleton takes on a Ghoul Vernificus, and cuts off one arm. Wiz next casts a hi heatball and kills two Ghoul Vernificii. Flesh raises Lord Boner who attax from the rear. (heh heh) Wiz manages defense against a tentacle. 4 But my Boner gets tentacled! The Wiz makes a static discharge, making a 3 skull attack – crit fail roll (snake eyes) makes it rebound causing the Wiz 2 dmg. Red kills the ghoul. Flesh raises the Green acid skel., but his attack fails. A render sidles up and slashes red for 2 dmg, but the burn aura costs it 2 dmg in return! For the new turn, Zebs charges from around the corner and leaps into the Defiler, a 7 skull hit chopping off the top of it, knocking the whole mess into the water. Pressing his advantage, he attax again, 2 skulls taking off a tiny bit more. Wiz explodes but does no dmg to the enemy. The defiler is damaged by red’s burn aura as it drags him in, but both minions are being pulled, immobile! Zebs totally destroys the defiler. He is attacked in turn by ghouls. 1st and 2nd attax are blocked! Then Zebs takes the head off a ghoul at the shoulder. Green and Red skel kill the render: One, Two, we are coming for you!
Our heros go down the only hall they see. Flesh raises the Wiz again at his farthest range. He in turn raises 2 Bone Knight at his farthest range which both go up the ladder, and fall as they fail to open the small locked hatch that is there. They lie disarticulated on the ground and pull themselves together as they stand, having enough action they brainlessly repeat the process. 1 dmg each. The Wiz goes up and tries to pull it open, but fails, so he comes back down. Zebs, who has inexplicably grown much more brave and resolute uses a half dozen rolls of punching to finally demolish the hatch, allowing us all to crawl through.
We stand. Zebs of Dooom, El Flesh and a small army of undead that will all fall to dust the instant Flesh should fall himself.
The cellar is quiet. And dark.
Anyone who comes down here will have their life scared out of them as their bowels let go into their pants.

Just the way we like it.